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  “Okay, then why do you need a sample in the first place? Are you guys some kind of census takers or something.”

  “No. We need a sample of every sentient life form so that we can perform a great scientific experiment. I will tell you no more than that.”

  One of the other mechanical squid-men yelled out, “It’s so we can create the ultimate being. We’re going to create God.”

  The captain spun on him and said, “That information is not yours to share.”

  The other robot said, “I like this Earthling. He’s all stiff and awkward. Plus he’s dumb so he probably doesn’t even know what I’m talking about.”

  That condescension upset Chris so he said huffily, “Of course I know who God is. And I also know you can’t create Him because he already exists. He lives all around and inside each and every one of us.”

  The robots laughed a weird, melodic laugh. The captain said to the other robot, “Maybe you’re right.” Then he turned to Chris and said, “Your idea of God is the opposite of our idea of him. You think God created the universe. We think it’s the universe’s job to create God. It’s the endgame of all of this.”

  “I have no fucking idea what you mean.”

  “The universe is doomed. You know this, right?”

  “Yeah. A very long time from now all the stars will burn out and everything will get so cold that not even atoms will have enough energy to move.” For the first time, Chris was glad he had watched all of those documentaries with Morgan Freeman narrating.

  The captain said, “That’s right. Every life form will die. There’s no way around that eventuality. My question to you is this: Would a creator god make something so worthless?”

  Chris had never thought of it that way. “I guess not, but how do you explain how all of this got here in the first place?”

  “We don’t know, so it’s a moot point. But what we do know is that as time goes on, life gets more and more complex. If you extrapolate that into the distant future, theoretically life will evolve to a point that it becomes god-like.”

  Chris scratched his head. He was aware the gesture made him look dumb, but he didn’t care. He was beyond that now. “Tell me again why you’re trying to make a god? If you’re correct about evolution, then why not just let nature run its course?”

  “Because we don’t think any single species will ever reach its full potential. We are millions of years more advanced than humans and yet we are not that different from you. We have found a few civilizations millions of years more advanced than us, and yet we are still remarkably the same.”

  Chris shook his head. “I don’t get it. You think that evolution can create a god-like creature sometime in the distant future, but then at the same time, you don’t think that it’ll happen? Make up your mind.”

  The captain said, “There’s no way to know what the future will bring. What if the species destined for such advanced evolution doesn’t evolve in time? What if its race was chugging along just fine until they were wiped out by an asteroid or warfare? We know what should occur but we don’t know if it will.”

  The other robot added, “We think that the genetic material across the universe needs to be combined to unlock the full potential of life. We will create a being that incorporates all of the DNA of every species of higher intelligence across the universe. That creature will be God. That creature will have the power to stop the heat-death of the universe and lead all of us to a new, golden age of awareness.”

  Chris said, “Ugh. I think the captain was right. You shouldn’t have told me any of this. It just makes my head hurt.”

  “That’s because you’re a dumbass.”

  Stasis

  Chris found out that the other robot who told him about the mission was the first mate, and he and the captain maintained a sort of friendly rivalry full of taunts and arguments. It also seemed to him that the first mate had taken a liking to him the way a man takes a liking to a mangy dog. Chris wasn’t a proud man, but he couldn’t help but bristle at that connection.

  The other two robots ignored him as the captain led him from what must have been the command station, out into another corridor.

  As they walked, the captain said, “There’s more to all of this than you think. And it’s not as idiotic as you think it is either. We have some very intelligent forms of life in stasis on this ship and most of them agree with what we’re trying to do. It makes sense that the universe is here for a reason, and that reason is to create an omnipotent being that can ensure the universe never dies. The universe shall give birth to its protector.”

  “Isn’t there any other way to do it? Can’t you reverse time or something, or freeze it?”

  The captain laughed. “We can leave the bonds of space and time to jump around the universe in this ship, but we can only maintain the power levels for a fraction of a second. To stay outside the bonds of time for even a year would take more energy than the universe has made available.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “I’m going to show you our other occupants, then I’m going to put you into stasis until you’re needed.”

  “I told you, I’m not going into stasis.”

  Chris had no idea where he’d got the guts to defy a mechanical monster as formidable-looking as the captain.

  He immediately regretted it when the captain yelled, “You will do as you’re told!”

  Chris shook his head, but he argued no more. He missed Megan already. That was an odd sensation. He usually enjoyed her absence. But he also missed the sounds of traffic. He missed the chatter of crowds. Shit, he even missed mowing the lawn. The truth was that he’d rather be anywhere than here.

  “Can I go back home when you’re done with me?”

  The captain said, “Sure,” but for some reason Chris didn’t believe him.

  Strange Roommates

  The captain stopped at a door, waved a metal tentacle in front of a tiny red light, and the door opened into a room that was dark and musty. The captain waved a tentacle and lights came on.

  Coffin-shaped pods lined the walls. Some were bigger than others. Each had a faceplate made of a glass-like opaque material. Chris expected the glass to be covered in frost but it wasn’t.

  “Are they cryogenically frozen?”

  “No. Freezing is not safe for many species. Your cell walls would rupture upon thawing and you’d die a fairly agonizing death. Your unit is over there.” He pointed to an empty pod at the back of the room and then led Chris over to it. It was just the right size for him.

  The captain opened the door and it swung out to the side. Inside the chamber was a single dangling hose and a bunch of spray jets that ran up and down the side-walls. It smelled like a mixture of ammonia and sulfur.

  Chris shivered, even though he knew he wasn’t going to be frozen.

  He said, “Can’t you make an exception in my case? I really don’t want to go in there. I’m claustrophobic.”

  “We don’t have food for you.”

  “Well then, it’s a good thing I’m not very hungry.”

  Robo-captain stared at him hard with his single eye and said, “You just purged everything from your system. You’re going to be famished before long. You’ll be okay. Come and check out your roommates. See for yourself how harmless stasis is.”

  He walked Chris around the room, stopping at each stasis pod to ogle the occupants.

  The first was the largest. Inside was a hairy beast that looked a little like a giant octopus, except for the long blond hair and the vast number of hooded eyes. It had dark brown lips that were cracked and sore looking. It didn’t move, which was good, as Chris would have crapped his pants if it had.

  The next pod was very small, maybe as big as a shoebox. Inside was a perfectly bald and yellow arachnid-like creature with spines all over its back. At the end of each of its dozen legs were little pudgy feet. Each foot had three round nail-less toes, like frogs’ toes. Its head had no features at all except for five dangling ant
ennae with tufts of pink hair at the ends.

  The captain said, “This species is very clever but very dangerous. Every square inch of its body is poisonous to the touch to most other species. It took some finagling to get her into her pod but thankfully I’m protected from her poisons by this mechanized unit.”

  The next pod surprised Chris the most. Inside was what some people referred to as a Gray, the stereotypical alien portrayed in the movies. It looked almost human but it had those big black eyes and a lipless mouth, with the large head and spindly body devoid of any musculature. It looked quite serene in stasis.

  The captain said, “We don’t trust this guy. He’s from a warrior race of maniacs hell bent on space exploration and space exploitation.”

  “So he’s a lot like you then,” Chris said, jokingly.

  The captain locked him in a stare for an uncomfortably long time.

  Chris froze and held his breath, sure that the captain was about to pulverize him for his insolence.

  Instead the captain nodded and said, “I see the comparison, but if you ever saw his people in action, you would easily see the difference between us. We are benevolent. They are psychotic.”

  Chris let out his breath and leaned on the pod to steady his quaking legs. Although he was still shaken by the look the captain had given him, he was too curious to stay silent. “Then why include their DNA? You don’t want that element in your perfect creation, do you?”

  “We need everything great that the universe has cultivated, even disgusting bastards like him. The race has some redeeming qualities. They’re just overshadowed by its vile nature.”

  Before the captain could move on to the next pod, a voice carried around the ship, probably from a hidden speaker or else something too sophisticated for Chris to fathom: “We’ve opened dialogue with the planet, sir. Their time’s up. We’re about to grab one at random.”

  The captain said, “Shit. Come on, Earth-man. It’s time to put you into stasis. Sorry I have to cut the tour short. It was a pleasure to speak with you.”

  Chris panicked. He said quickly, “I’d like to see the abduction process for myself, if that’s okay.”

  The captain mulled it over and said, “I know you’re just stalling. The stasis process is flawless. There’s nothing to fear. But okay then, just this once. Follow me.”

  Chris eagerly allowed the captain to lead him from the freakish stasis room. If he never saw the inside of it again, it would be too soon.

  Reptilian

  Chris saw on the holographic monitor that they had moved away from the white star and were now directly above a green planet.

  They abducted one of the native creatures to include in their experiment, and the first mate said, “Okay, we got one.”

  The planet’s atmosphere was steady and calming. Then Chris saw a flash of light on the surface. The first mate yelled out, “We’re under attack.”

  The other two robots moved quickly at their consoles and the view on the monitor changed instantly.

  They were beside the huge star once more, safe from whatever projectile the aliens had launched their way.

  Chris had felt no movement when they’d jumped away. He hadn’t even felt the gravity shift. The attack hadn’t stood a chance with the ship being able to maneuver so easily.

  Every robot seemed to relax now as the view changed again on the monitor. Now it showed the inside of the dark cell Chris had been locked in when he first arrived. A black, leathery reptilian creature was in there, thrashing around blindly, trying to break its way out.

  It had a black beak and two stumpy arms with razor sharp talons on the ends instead of hands; at the joints were wicked looking spikes. It had huge webbed feet and muscular legs. On its back were two tiny vestigial wings that probably couldn’t lift the immense creature an inch from the ground. They looked cartoonish, like fairy wings.

  It was clawing at the walls, uttering a cacophony of anger-filled shrieks.

  The captain put a headset on that resembled a football helmet but with wires and sensors attached, and he spoke to the monitor: “You have been selected to come with us. It is a great honor for you and you’ll see that soon enough. Calm down or you’ll be subdued.”

  The beast looked around the room with wild simian eyes. The eyes were out of place but they definitely gave it a look of higher intelligence. It shrieked at the room at a deafening pitch in an indecipherable language.

  The captain understood it though.

  He said reassuringly, “You were selected because of your intelligence. We apologize that none of your people had the sense of adventure to volunteer. Please calm down and this will go smoothly. First, I need you to ingest the three small pills I’m about to supply you. Then I need you to put the metallic rod in your mouth. It’s a translator and it doubles as a breather.”

  It all seemed so different from this side of the looking glass. Chris almost felt bad for the hideous beast trapped inside.

  The creature handled the pills delicately and the captain said, “Take them or I will not let you out of that room. They’ll rid your body of contaminants.”

  The reptilian alien threw the pills at the wall and shrieked again, louder this time.

  The captain yelled, “Just because you aren’t taking the pills doesn’t mean we’re going to take you home. We’re not stupid. If need be, we’ll force them into you. Hurry up now. You’re trying my patience.”

  To Chris he said, “What a stubborn race.”

  Chris nodded but he fully understood how the reptile felt. It had been abducted against its will, just like Chris had. It probably had a girlfriend too, or a reptilian equivalent. Then again, maybe Chris didn’t have the knowledge to make such assumptions. But it certainly didn’t want to be here.

  Serendipity

  The reptile finally capitulated and ate its pills. It took a little coaxing for it to put the metallic rod in its mouth, and when it finally did, it struggled fiercely against it. But the rod won out in the end.

  Then the beast became serene, seeming to accept its fate. It shit all over the floor and then it was forced to endure the sterilization processes Chris had just gone through.

  With that done it was let out and convinced to walk down the corridor towards the command station.

  Chris found that he was holding his breath. The captain stood in front of the door and waited for it to open. When it finally did, the reptile launched itself at the robotic captain with a ferocity that made Chris stumble backwards and yelp in fear. He looked around quickly for a place to hide, but the other crew members didn’t seem too worried.

  The captain grabbed the reptile in a headlock and said, “I’d explain this to you but I doubt you’d listen.” Then he dragged the reptile out of the other door, towards the corridor that led to the stasis rooms.

  Chris was shaking. He’d never been so afraid in his life. But this was all just another day at the office for the robotic aliens in charge. No wonder they seemed to like him; he was probably one of the few who’d accepted his fate with little resistance. That realization made him feel like a coward.

  The captain returned and said to his first mate: “Strong little bastard.”

  To Chris he said, “You’re in luck. What just happened was serendipitous to say the least. He damaged your stasis pod while I struggled with him. It’ll take some time before it’s repaired. In the meantime you will stay with us in the command station so long as you stay out of our way. If you pose any problems for us or for the mission, you’ll be dealt with severely.”

  If Chris had been put into stasis just moments earlier, would he have survived the damage the pod had just sustained? The thought put a chill in his bones. He was against going into stasis now more than ever.

  But he was conflicted too. Maybe it would be better after all if he went into stasis before he saw anything else that went on in this ship. The mission and its ramifications scared the crap out of him. And worse yet: what if it was successful and a living god was creat
ed? What would that mean for the universe? What if it was an angry god?

  Dead Planet

  One of the crew members said, “They’ve found us and launched another attack. We’d better get out of here. These guys are overly protective.”

  The reptiles were clearly upset at the forced abduction of one of their own.

  A dozen circular projectiles were approaching at a frightening speed. If they hit the ship, Chris had no doubt that they’d be killed.

  The captain nodded and his crew got to work.

  The view of the sun vanished in a flash. A black planet now revolved slowly on the monitor.

  The captain asked, “Is this right? There’s supposed to be a civilization here.”

  The planet beneath them appeared barren and dead.

  The first mate ordered, “Scour for communications. Find out what happened here.”

  Both of the other crew members got to work fiddling with switches and manipulating holographic displays.

  Within a few minutes one of them said, “I got something here. It’s pretty clean so I think it’s recent.”

  The captain ordered him to play it. It was an audio recording, a distress signal sent from the surface of the planet to a ship.

  The audio issued forth from the unseen speakers on their ship, for them all to hear:

  The Grays have attacked. We’re fighting back but they seem to anticipate our every move. It’s a slaughter, Commander. I fear that by the time you receive this communication, our race will be no more. Come as soon as you can. Our very survival depends on it. Please hurry.

  The transmission ended with a click and a static hiss.

  The captain muttered, “Those fucking Grays. What compels them to do this?” He spoke with sadness in his voice, but also bitterness, and something else too. The captain seemed to know more than he was saying, like maybe he knew exactly why the Grays had done it but he didn’t want Chris to know. Then again, maybe Chris was just imagining things.